Grand Gestures Only 💅🏾
2 months ago • 4 min readThere's no rest for the weary when Saturn is around. 🪐 Heavy is the moon that wears the ring Hey, Reader! Imagine signing up for a cute yoga class and instead showing up to a military boot camp – like the ones they sent the bad kids to on Maury or Dr. Phil. That’s Saturn sitting on your Moon. Twice or thrice in life, you get drafted into cosmic basic training—and trust, the workouts are BRUTAL. That period when Saturn transits your Moon—called Sade Sati in Jyotish (Hindu astrology)—is when...
READ POST⚡️ Shake, Battle, and Soul
4 days ago • 3 min readAesthetic? Or aftermath? Hard to tell this week.🧐 When the System Shakes Uranus re-enters Taurus on November 7, and the ground beneath us trembles again. Taurus is associated with things that bring us stability and comfort in the material world - money, food, and the ground. Uranus electrifies, destabilizes, and exposes the fault lines. Together, they jolt us awake — forcing us to see what’s been unsustainable all along. This looks like shocks to the financial markets (bank collapses, too)...
READ POST🪐 How Does It Feel? Ask Saturn. 
18 days ago • 3 min readR.I.P. 🕊️ A Saturn Kind of Week Never have I ever prayed for a camera to tilt down until I watched D’Angelo’s Untitled (How Does It Feel) video in 2000. If you know, you know. If you don’t—picture one of the most beautiful men alive, singing straight to the camera, bare skin and moisturized lips glistening under soft light (click the photo above to watch the video). It felt intimate, raw, spiritual—blurring the line between eroticism and devotion. And now he’s gone. Michael Eugene Archer.That...
READ POST🥊 Astrology Hits Below the Belt
about 1 month ago • 2 min readWhen words hurt more than this... ✨ Breakups, Barbs & Bold Moves Cardi B. and Nicki Minaj are back at war, and this round is brutal. Cardi dragged Nicki’s childhood trauma into the feud — a textbook Mercury opposite Chiron moment. Mercury rules children, Chiron is the wound, and together they scream: words cut, words scar. Same vibe with Secretary of “War” Pete Hegseth, who thought it was cool to call his own soldiers fat. That’s Mercury/Chiron too — more weaponized language. Meanwhile, Venus...
READ POST🧊 The Eclipse That Locks Us In
about 2 months ago • 3 min readI know this doll is creepy AF, but the eclipse is creepier 😩😭 Eclipse Weather: The Big Shift Quick reminder…I don’t decide the astro weather — I just report it. And yes, I know I’ve been talking about this eclipse a lot… Like, a lot a lot. I’m probably a little obsessed. But honestly? It’s a big deal, Reader! Eclipses are always heavy, but this one is stacked with planetary alignments that ratchet up the pressure. You’ve probably felt the shift already. 👣 The Step Into the Unknown A couple of...
READ POSTThe Eclipse Called It 🌑
about 2 months ago • 1 min readThe revolution is here -- and some of it's being televised The Astrology is Astrology-ing When I recorded my eclipse video last Wednesday, I warned that this Virgo solar eclipse was no small deal. Since then? Three prime ministers have stepped down, Charlie Kirk was shot at a university event, and Nepal is literally on fire. The astrology is in full effect — and it’s moving fast. This eclipse sits at the crisis degree of Virgo, on the South Node. Translation? Endings, exposure, and events...
READ POSTThe middle finger of fate 🖕🏾
2 months ago • 3 min readThe planets this week: lol, suffer. The playlist fromH-E-🏒🏒 This week’s astrology looks like somebody hit shuffle on the worst planets possible and put it on repeat. It’s the playlist you didn’t ask for, but you’re stuck in the car with no control over the Bluetooth connection. Here’s what’s on the menu: ☀️ The Sun moves into Virgo—analytical, methodical, sometimes critical. Okay, that doesn't sound bad. 🪐 Saturn, planet of restriction and denial, hits the World Axis (00° Aries) again. Oof......
READ POST🍿🍷  Eboni Explains it All - Earthquake, Creepy POTUS, etc. 
3 months ago • 4 min readWTF, Eboni?! People keep asking me:“Eboni, what the hell is going on in the sky? The world is a complete sh*tshow.” Massive earthquake in Russia.A tsunami.Children swept away by floods.Layoffs. Funding cuts galore. A rotting social safety net.An alleged pedo president? First of all...Yes. takes a deep breath Here goes... 🌊 Saturn + Neptune = Flood, Fear & Fractures Back in April, I warned in my Saturn-Neptune livestream that we’d see more natural disasters, particularly flooding, earthquakes,...
READ POST🔦 Exposing the Underbelly: The Most Powerful New Moon of the Year
3 months ago • 2 min readGirl, me too! Some new moons plant seeds. This one clears the field with a blowtorch. This week’s New Moon in Leo isn't about affirmations and vision boarding. It arrives with force — here to unearth, expose, and annihilate anything false. Because this isn’t just a new moon.It’s the Sun and Moon in conjunction with Vulcanus — the Transneptunian planet that magnifies whatever it touches. And all of that opposes Pluto. And when what’s being magnified is Pluto’s darkness? We get a lunation that...
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