A close up of a text bubble with the word wft on it

WTF, Eboni?!

People keep asking me:
“Eboni, what the hell is going on in the sky? The world is a complete sh*tshow.”

Massive earthquake in Russia.
A tsunami.
Children swept away by floods.
Layoffs. Funding cuts galore. A rotting social safety net.
An alleged pedo president?

First of all...Yes.

takes a deep breath

Here goes...

🌊 Saturn + Neptune = Flood, Fear & Fractures

Back in April, I warned in my Saturn-Neptune livestream that we’d see more natural disasters, particularly flooding, earthquakes, and tsunamis. And here we are. These two planets are now within a degree of each other—tight enough for us to really feel them. Their exact conjunction won’t hit until February 2026, but this is our preview of its intensity.

This combo erodes boundaries—physical, emotional, structural.
It’s why we’re seeing foundations (literal and metaphorical) fall apart and get washed away.

It’s also why we’re watching institutions quietly gut their budgets, fire staff, and leave people behind. That’s the shadow of Saturn-Neptune: misery and poverty. Astrology isn’t purely psychological; we experience real, concrete shifts in our world, stemming from planetary influences.

Saturn-Neptune restricts free-flowing trade and tends to drive people toward socialism. Healthcare and housing are too expensive. The struggle is real, and something has to give. And Saturn and Neptune, without any hint of subtlety, encourage us to re-imagine outdated systems that weren’t built with our present or future context in mind. This is the moment to break ground on our dreams.

🧼 Presidential Garbage, Cosmic Style

Now let’s talk about our raggedy-ass president.

There’s a reason things have felt especially sleazy and grimy:
We’ve got Hades and Kronos—two TransNeptunian planets—together in Cancer. That’s leadership and things that are literally high up (Kronos) and filth (Hades).

The combination? Presidential and royal crimes. Government corruption. We’re talking about big bosses with big secrets. Rampant organized crime. The Mafia. Problems with flights.

But also? This is celestial sanitation.✨
Hades surfaces the trash, and we’re left to manage it.
Not just politically—but literally. Massive waste, massive cleanup.

We’re being forced to ask:
What can be recycled? How can we eliminate trash sustainably? Who’s been stinking up the place too long?
In our governments. In our cities. In our lives.

💸 Jupiter Rolls Through the Dumpster Fire

This month, Jupiter—the planet of expansion and belief—joins the Hades-Kronos party, adding a financial flavor.

This can amplify Hades/Kronos mess. Think:

Global finance scandals, Bank collapses
Inflation spikes
Corrupt leaders feeling untouchable
Maybe some news about a massive garbage pile somewhere

But here’s the flip: Jupiter liberates.*

It cracks things open.
It won’t solve the crisis, but it might show us the way through it—by expanding how we think, what we believe is possible, and what we’re no longer willing to tolerate.

Because sometimes, the only way out... is through the rubble with a vision.

*⚡ Myth, Memory, and Giving ‘Em The Ick

Jupiter’s counterpart in mythology is Zeus.
And Zeus? He was the one who freed his siblings from the belly of their father, Kronos, who had eaten them to preserve his own power.

Their mother, Rhea, saved Zeus by hiding him away and feeding Kronos a stone instead. 🪨
Years later, Zeus returned, tricked Kronos into drinking a potion, and made him vomit up the brothers and sisters he tried to erase.

Now fast-forward to today.

Trump, his allies, and other power-hoarding cronies? They don’t eat stones—they eat people.
Not literally. But every whistleblower silenced, every rule bent, every truth ignored—that’s how they maintain control. It’s not leadership. It’s consumption.

So the question becomes:
How do we make them throw up?
Metaphorically, of course.

How do we liberate the people from the belly of the beast? What's the potion?

That’s where Jupiter comes in.
Not just expanding the mess—but helping us outsmart it.

🌱 And Still… There Is Joy

I don’t need to tell you we’re in a hard moment.
But astrology isn’t just about the fall—it’s about the path through.

Even now, with the seas rising and the crooks grinning, you can:

Touch grass
Call your people
Create beauty
Say no
Make something useful from the garbage pile, or simply clean up your space. Clean yourself.
Floss your teeth, dangit! On top of all the other stuff I shared, Saturn/Neptune can also destroy your teeth and bones.
Prep a go-bag and keep your homeowner's and renter's insurance up to date

We’re in the breakdown before the breakthrough.
This moment isn’t the end. But it is the clearing. And what you plant in the rubble? Well, keep reading...

🔮 Big Deck Energy: Tarot Card Pull for the Week

Welcome to Big Deck Energy—where I pull a tarot card each week on behalf of our collective to offer insight, reflection, or a much-needed reality check. Think of it as a weekly reset, a moment to pause and take in what’s unfolding. This week, I asked: What role am I meant to play in cleaning up this mess?

Here's what the Tarot had to say: The Eight of Pentacles.

tldr; Start the revolution, but first: floss your teeth.

This is your “sit down and do the thing” card.
Not for a gold star. Not for your LinkedIn. But because it’s time to hone something real. Something that could actually serve your people later.

That course you’ve been eyeing? That craft you keep putting off? That dusty-ass library card? Yep. Now’s the time. Get obsessed. Find something you love enough to get lost in—and that might just come in handy when the grid goes down. (I’m only half joking. But let's be real. Some knowledge workers' jobs are being turned over to AI. Learning a trade might not be a bad idea.)

And let’s be clear:
This card also says take care of your damn self. Sweat the small stuff.
When's the last time your insides saw a leafy green veggie? I'll wait.
Drink some water. Go to therapy. Scrape your tongue. Get some sunlight. The basics. Life will be less expensive—financially and emotionally—if you just handle the basic mundane stuff now.

As Austin Coppock wrote:

"Humility... results in works of surprising glory.

So:
Don’t doomscroll. Don’t spiral.
Pick a skill. Master it. Take care of your health. Riot through your routine.
Your community will thank you.
Your nervous system will too.

(And if you have no idea where to start? Book a birth chart reading with me. Let’s get you aligned before you end up in another certificate program you hate. Here's a 20% off code, through August 15, 2025: ALIGN20 .)